Recently I met a gentleman in a professional setting and while he had some quiet “I don’t care about your feelings vibes,” he had worked in the prosthetics industry for many years and had met many upper limb amputees. When it was time for me to leave, he offered his right hand to shake goodbye and when I shook his hand with my left, he nodded toward my right hand where I was wearing my Palmar Hook and said “Oh, I’m not afraid.”

Oh, but I am sir. I am so afraid of triggering nerve pain in my hand that I flinch when my surgeon goes to touch it. Sometimes I accidentally trigger the pain myself! So what makes you, some dude I’ve just met, think it’s OK for you to shake my right hand? Why do you assume I am protecting you? I’m the one who has to live with this hand every day, and you have no inkling of the amount of small things I’ve adapted to just to protect myself from pain. Maybe next time you can think outside of yourself and trust that I am doing what is best for me. Because it’s not about you!